Parenting: From pregnancy to baby names and toddler tantrums – instructions not included, batteries sold separately.

It Takes a Village

by modernmama

“It takes a village to raise a child.”

No one has yet placed the exact origin of this saying, but nonetheless, it rings true in our home.  From the moment we found out that we would soon be three, we’ve gotten help -occasionally unsolicited- from newly discovered friends.  Here is a place where I offer to you all the wisdom I have acquired in these first three years of parenthood.  And in just starting to think about what to post, I’ve discovered it’s more than I realized.  So, pour yourself a spot of tea and cozy up to the reassurance that generations have experienced all that goes with raising a family.  And ready yourself to embark on a great adventure.

 


Learning to Draw

by modernmama

I just sat down to write another post and I could hear Elijah dragging something along the wall in another room.  It’s not uncommon to hear and recently it’s been his wooden tools that he got for Christmas.  So I went about my business, opening up the page and logging in when I heard him babbling through a binky in his mouth and heading in my direction.  I turned around to see what he was asking for and his hands were outstretched in front of him as he came in to see me.

“Ish, ish,” is about what he sounded like. This particular “ish, ish” was asking to have his hands wiped off.  I took a look and realized what it was.  Lipstick, of course.

As I took a moment to think about how he could’ve gotten it, I remembered him carrying his stool around and figured he must have taken it back into the bedroom and used it to reach the top of my dresser. Oh well, let’s clean that up.

I wiped the largest chunks off his little fingers with a paper towel, took the lipstick cap and asked him to show me where he got it from.

*I’ve made a point of rarely getting upset when he comes to me having done something wrong, so he’s never afraid to tell me.  But don’t get me wrong, I definitely let him know if he did do something wrong and have him help correct it. He’s now become quite the little cleaning helper.

So he leads the way down the hall and points to the floor where he pointed to the lipstick base, now empty and then pointed to the wall.

All I could do was smile and chuckle as he proudly pointed and described his drawing.  Any other night, I would have grabbed one of the many cleaning cloths we have and had him help clean off the wall, but tonight I thought I’d share it with you, so I took a couple pictures.  (Including the artist)

 


“Morning” Sickness

by modernmama

While everyone experiences different symptoms the first three months, be happy if you have none, because they’re not fun.

Who would have known that “morning sickness” is by no means limited to the MORNING! The first day at work I wasn’t sure exactly why I didn’t feel well.  It was late in the morning, but not close enought to lunch to be hungry. The next day it happened again around the same time so I munched on some trail mix.  As the weeks went on this became routine and worsening.  I found I had to eat constantly to avoid being nauseous throughout the day. Saltines became my friend. I was working full time and the circumstances were that I had not told any colleagues that I was pregnant yet, so I had to act normal.

So one day, I was working and under a deadline to get some work done and go to the bank with a manager to do the usual banking.  It was two hours since I had last eaten and the hunger pangs were growing. Another half hour and we were at the bank….waiting in a long line! You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m going to barf if I don’t get something to eat! I was actually starting to sweat at this point trying to compose myself.  Banking done.

“Let’s go grab a snack on our way back.” My manager liked to talk – a lot.  So we’re on our way to the store and he’s chatting about all kinds of things and all I can do is think about how I would explain simply throwing up in front of him.  Finally – at the deli.  What looks good?  Pacing, nothing looks good. In fact thinking  about food at this point makes me want to barf more.  Ah ha! Mashed potatoes!  Yes, one small container of mashed potatoes please!

I devoured them. In minutes. Just sitting in the car before we headed back. Amazingly, my manager didn’t question it.

For many months, I woke up in the morning hoping not to feel nauseous.  When I did, I knew I just needed to eat a few crackers to settle it down.  Occasionally I had the misfortune of not making it to the kitchen and ended up throwing up in the bathroom sink. Not sexy.

Must have pregnancy item: Large box of saltines.


Am I Ready to be a Parent?

by modernmama

I think that most good parents at some point along the way ask themselves if they’re ready to have a baby.

My first instance of this came about a week after the shock of finding out I was pregnant for the first time wore off.  I was walking hurriedly down some stairs and my chest throbbed with each step – the constant reminder that my life was about to change.

That evening, my sore chest and I cozied up on the sofa for my routine bedtime read and I found that I hadn’t opened my book, but was lost in thought about the months and years to come.  In a few short minutes too much to type was thought. “I can’t believe I’m pregnant.  I’m not ready for a kid. I never planned to have kids. I’ve never even changed a diaper. I have no experience with children.  I don’t make enough money.  I’m so excited.  There’s no one else in the world I’d want to do this with other than my husband.”

And that was the first instance of this question, “Am I ready?”

There’s so many things to prepare for to make sure your little one has all the opportunity in life.  And suddenly it’s important to take care of yourself to make sure you can take care of your baby.  We were looking at college savings, health insurance, life insurance, organic food, vitamins, green cleaning products, going back to school ourselves and getting degrees, even a piggy bank!

Then there were all the baby essentials to get too!

Do I need a parenting class?  A birth class?  How do I breastfeed?  How do I hold a baby?  What if I drop it!?

I tell you, it REALLY sunk in when I was being wheelchaired out of the maternity ward nine months later with a 7lb 1oz swaddled boy in my arms. I felt the need to ask the nurse if they were really going to let me, of all people, just leave with another human being!

But I didn’t.  I just smiled.  And I realized that I probably wasn’t any more ready than I could be, but that I would do my best for that little guy, because that’s what parents do.

A friend of mine was recently thinking of starting the adoption process and said she wasn’t sure if she was ready yet.  I said, no one is ever really ready, you just prepare the best you can and throw yourself into it.  You learn along the way and love ‘em with all your heart.


Plus or minus?

by modernmama

Now I didn’t learn this small bit of important info from my first pregnancy, but I thought since it’s where a lot of women start, it might be useful.

Then again, if you’re here, you’re probably past this point….

Eh, well.  So your monthly friend has not come to visit yet and potentially, maybe, you think you could be pregnant.  What do we do at this point? We grab ourselves a home pregnancy test!  Now I was quite positive that I was pregnant when I first used one for our second baby, but I had two negatives so far and I was DYING to know for sure!  I was thinking, “This CAN’T be right!! I’m almost certain I’m pregnant!” I was tired and cramping in my uterus, but had not gotten my period.

Ok, so here goes the third test.

Do the deed in the bathroom after dinner one night and so impatiently, anxiously await the results. So impatiently that I decide to read the full directions to pass the time.  Ya know, that paper folded ten times with print so small you hold the paper two inches from your face to read.

Ok, About, Uses, How they work, yada yada, gets to the part about how it detects levels of Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (hCG).  Best time to take the test is in the morning with your morning pee because it has the highest concentration of hCG.

Really?  Couldn’t you have put that little tidbit in the directions on the outside of the box?

And another negative.

Eff it.  By this point I was two days away from my doctor’s appointment I scheduled a week before.  I didn’t do another home test, but I went to my 10:00am appointment with an o-so-full bladder, doing the pee dance because I wanted the test to have the best possible chance for accuracy.

By 10:15 I finally had that little cup and went into the bathroom.

My husband and I waited in the little waiting room for just a few minutes before the results were in. Wham! Baby #2 was in the oven!

So then, back to the original important information: For best results, pee on the stick in the morning when you wake up.  And read directions in life!